More 'Hard Rock' humor...

Hey, did you hear the joke about the horrible businessman who concepted a failed business, then wanted to sue the new owners of that failed business for royalties?

I WISH this were a joke, but if you've followed local news of late (I RARELY do, actually...wow, I paid attention to something...NEAT) then you've heard the "chuckler" of a headline: Steven Goodwin - one of the principle (ahem) "masterminds" behind the origins of the Hard Rock Park, now wants ROYALTIES from the park's new owners. He wants an ANNUAL $500,000 "licensing fee" for his part in conceptualizing the park, and 1.5% of the park's revenues over $50 million each year.

This is the SAME guy who, uh, "masterminded" a $50 daily admission (when a far superior park in Atlanta, "Six Flags", charges $39.95) and the $150 season pass fee (when same aforementioned 'Six Flags' park in Atlanta offers a $49.00 season pass). He's the, uh, "mastermind" who figured they didn't need much marketing - the "build it and they will come" rationale. He's the head honcho that ran the park when dozens of folks uprooted themselves from where they were (working at various theme parks across the country and around the world) to have a job, once the park opened, for all of eight months, at best.

The dude wants HALF A MILLION DOLLARS per year - when his former "company" still owes MILLIONS to various debtors, including local media (cough cough), vendors, suppliers, etc. Will he, then, pay off some of HIS company's debts? Nah. He's a smart rich guy; he takes no personal responsiBILITY in his "brainchild's" failure; but he certainly wants to reap the, uh, "reward" for the concept.

This man, and his co-horts, ran a JOKE of a theme park by not listening to those they hired who DID know what they were doing, and in the process put hundreds of employees through undue strain and relocation. But he WANTS his payday, anyhow.

Did he go to tbe bank of "Sheer Gall" and take out a massive loan or something? Wow. Amazing.

Mr. Goodwin, I think you should appeal your claim before your former employers and those you gladly accepted $150 per sesaon pass from before shorting them of their value. If you can rationalize your request and convince THOSE folks, I say you deserve it.

Methinks you'll have the same fate as one of those guitars you smashed against 'Led Zeppelin: The Ride" a little over a year ago, though. So methinks you'd be wise to steer clear of the park and nearby environs. We southerners don't take too kindly to out-of-towners with accents who remain rich while bilking locals and new neighbors.

A Trip to (Big) Mart that was just too stereotypical...

How many times has somebody you know (or you, even) said "I hate shopping there, but sometimes you just HAVE to go there?" You KNOW where "there" is... and so I don't get in trouble for trashing (big box retailer), they'll remain nameless; but when I tell you about my most recent visit to (big box retailer), you'll INSTANTLY know the place I'm talking about - and it has NOTHING to do with (big box retailer) or the products they sell.

Did some "spring cleaning" Sunday, and realized afterwards, that I needed (in no particular order) 6 picture frames, cat food, cat litter, bottled water, a new garden hose (to wash and rinse the new truck with) and "Twilight" on DVD (sis's birthday present - she said to get it - so it's no big surprise). Conveniently, all this stuff can be found at ONE "big box retailer."

So I'm at (big box retailer) when I experience the following, all within the half-hour I was there...

1. While in the garden section, I witnessed (no lie) a young-ish white couple not merely arguing; no, they were hurling F-bombs at each other (across an aisle, no less) while one pushed a cart with a small child in the seat. I'm sure that child is just SOAKING up mommy and daddy's colorful language, through it all (it is, after all, said child's "formulative" years, right?). Let me be clear...they were not having a "private" disagreement between themselves. This was loud, very public, and really filthy. They weren't STOPPING to have this argument, either...no they were crop-dusting the F-bombs from the toy section to the garden section while in lock-step. Nice.

2. I got my hose, got the DVD, and moved over to the "grocery" side of (big box retailer); as I'm pushing my wobbly-wheeled cart down the beverage aisle, I'm behind "suburban mom-lady" and her bogged-down, loaded-to-the-brim with junk food cart, when she just stops to.... I guess stare at the half-dozen sugar-loaded sodas she's narrowed her choice down to. No bigge; I can jsut wheel around her, right? Actually, no; she's sorta parked her cart at an angle, taking up 2/3 of the aisle, when an apparently pleasant lady approached from the other direction, and couldn't wheel by, herself. We both just stood there, and awkwardly watched as 'suburban mom-lady' took her sweet @#& time choosing the flavor of liquid crack she'd be dousing her kids stomachs with this week. I kid you not - this went on for about 3-4 minutes, at which point, I looked at the friendlier lady, said, "Don't feel bad; apparently we're not really here, so we're not really being held up." I u-turned ol' wobbly wheels, and re-routed my search for bottled water.

3. I got ripped by an old lady in the "20 items or less" lane because she said my cart had too much stuff. Turns out, my cart had a large garden hose and one of those rope-crank storage thingies, so it took up a bunch of space; oh, and by the way, I only had 19 items, cranky lady. Get off my @&#.

4. Somebody (no lie) asked a clerk in mens clothing if they carried any "Snuggies." Without missing a beat, she told the guy where diapers were stocked.

I really DO hate shopping at (big box retaiiler) but if you ever wanna feel better about where YOU are in life, spend a few minutes in (big box retailer) and be thankful you only "chose" to be there.

My shows are starting to drop like flies...

So I already KNEW 'Battlestar Galactica' was only going to run for four seasons (they actually call this 'season 4.5 since they did two "half" seasons with a ridiculous long break between 'em), and that my Friday night staple (lame, eh?) would come to a close this month. What I WASN'T aware of, until last night, was that my Wednesday fix, "LIfe on Mars," was dead on arrival. Next week's the final episode (17 episodes? That's it?) of what has been an awesome series, for me, personally. Hey, at least ABC yanked it with enough time to allow the show's writers to wrap it up and put a bow on it! What was that thing they had on a few years ago with the lizard-aliens falling into the Florida swamp waters and chasing down Eddie Cibrian? I don't remember the name of it, but I ALSO don't remember them even ATTEMPTING to explain what the hell that show was about.

What next? 'King of the Hill?' Huh? This is the last season for that, too? Dammit, Bobby!

Hmmm... so maybe I should start watching all the God-awful shows clogging up the airwaves and use this power I've stumbled onto for GOOD instead of it taking MY favorites down.

Some shows that SHOULD be cancelled, for example....

1. ANYthing with the words "_____ of Love" in it. Dude, these skanks seriously think "vying" for the affections of any washed up (former) music celeb is going to put a positive spin on our perceptions of them? End it. Please. Revolver-to-the-temple style...now.

2. ANY show with abbreviations in its name. My GOD, how many CSINCISSUV's need to be on your DVR, anyhow? Remember the good ol' days, when the only letters on our schedules were "P.I." following "Magnum?" I'm crying "U.N.C.L.E." already...enough!

3. Who....the....HELLLLLL is watching a table of people play "Texas Hold 'Em?" Dude, the ONLY entertaining thing about this televised idiocy is seeing the various hats and sunglasses these former basement-shut ins wear to the games. I swear, I keep thinking, at SOME point, one of these geeks' moms is gonna waltz in with a tray of kool-aid for her baby and their little friends.

4. I get it. You're a "Survivor." Put some clothes on, get a good meal and catch a plane out of that malaria-infested hell-hole, already.

5. If you're going to continue with "WifeSwap"...I insist you spice this thing up a bit and make sure ALL the "wifely" duties are followed through on, to the letter. You think these ladies were mis-matched BEFORE? Let's listen in while prim and proper uber-Republican white-bread neat-freak lady has to have a roll in the hay with pot-smoking, pet-loving, goth-rock worshipping, bathing-optional dad in their "under the freeway" slum home.

I'm out.

So I Broke Up a Cat Fight...man-law violation?

So I tried, desperately, to grab a nap/power-nap before going to see FLO RIDA at Club Kryptonite last night; and failed miserably. Damn you, Jack Bauer, with your powers to keep my interest (despite knowing I was rolling the DVR anyhow). Either way, I was REALLY looking forward to this show, for some reason.

Now those of you that KNOW me know I'm about as white a guy as there is - so consider for a minute...I, Ron, was EXCITED about going to see a hip hop show in a crowded night club.

There's something about Flo, though; His songs are just so damn catchy. I told him this when I interviewed him - his stuff is so contagious and catchy, that folks of all ages and demographics catch on to his tunes. He's a pretty savvy business man (I wonder if that was his major at UNLV), so he KNOWS what he's doing.

Enough about that; what transpired last night still has me scratching my head and wondering "what the heck?" I caught up with many of my co-workers at Club K last night, and we were all hanging out at the VIP area, awaiting the show, when I started feeling tiny nuggets of ice and water on my head. I thought there was a slight A/C leak from the ceiling maybe, but about 2 minutes later, I saw a commotion going on - LITERALLY below me, on the floor. THat's where Marcia (from the "Rock of Love Bus") getting the snot beaten out of her by a smaller (though more tenacious) female.

It was like one of those old-school hip-hop dance-offs, though. Folks just made a circle around 'em and watched. Seriously? So I just did what I THOUGHT many other folks would eventually pitch in and do - I started grabbing at these girls to split 'em up. Don't think I'm bragging about this, either, because APPARENTLY, somewhere in that book those Miller Lite guys were writing down "man-laws" is an entry that reads "don't break up a girl fight between two hot chicks."

Oops. Silly me. What was I thinking?

Ehh, if this is a "man-law" violation, it's one I'll gladly take the reprimand for. Marcia was getting her teeth knocked in; this has absolutely NOTHING to do w/me liking her reality show, either. I couldn't tell you what channel "Rock of Love Bus" even comes on (VH-1, but I don't what channel number). I don't get the point of shows like these or what makes them appealing to folks, unless watching human train-wrecks "compete" against each other for the "fake" affections of washed up former music greats is deemed "quality entertainment." No, I just started grabbing at the little reality vixen's appendages in hopes of removing her from the flurry of punches coming at her out of some deeply hidden decency hidden within me.

See you tomorrow!

Parade Etiquette

Alright, so call me a "parade snob," but I'm gonna share some thoughts, post-St. Patrick's Day Parade.

1. Who's idea was it to start a parade at 9am on a Saturday? With one setting of the time, you've now ruined Friday night (as if I make plans and go out, but STILL) and now Saturday morning. Consider 10 or 11, in the future, maybe? :)

2. Geriatrics approaching the Mix 97.7 van to SNATCH beads off the van were apparently never given a course on manners. You do not approach a moving vehicle; you do not approach parade entries, either. The reason we're "throwing" items into the crowd is so they don't HAVE to walk in traffic or amidst the parade entries. It's dangerous, and sets a bad example for kids. Nothing funny to add to that. I was blown away when this older lady literally WALKED RIGHT UP to my door, and placed her hand on a strand of beads hanging from my side mirror to take them for herself. "Excuse me?"

3. Are there EVER enough items to throw in a parade? Seems not. My GOSH, hard as we try, we always run out of stuff.

4. P.S., NMB St. Patty's Parade planner(s), a map to the lineup, a map of the route, etc., would've been nice in the envelope loaded with bank advertisements you sent us. :)

I think of ol' Richard Petty when I say... "Happy STP Day!"

Things I Enjoy That Most People Don't...

Wow, if I took the title of this entry to heart, this could be a steamy blog entry, right? :) Uncover your eyes, I'm keeping it PG, folks.

When I get into conversations with folks about all things "pop culture," I find myself trying to "sell" something i know in my heart is quality, but that so few either know about or pay attention to. Is it that my tastes in television, movies and music is THAT bad - or are my choices largely misunderstood and under-appreciated?

You know where I stand on that question. So without further adieu, (does this thing have a spell-checker to check that one?), here are a few items I enjoy IMMENSELY that I don't think many people are checking out...

TELEVISION

Wednesdays at 10pm - LIFE ON MARS (ABC) - It's late 2008, a New York City cop goes on a call and gets blind-sided by a car and knocked unconscious. When he comes to, it's 1973, he possesses a wicked ol' school muscle car, a crazy leatherish leisure suit, and stands in the shadow of - ready for this? - the World Trade Center towers. This show fromes from the same folks that bring you "Lost" so you know it's a good mind screw, at times, as you try and figure out (with the lead character) why he's in 1973 NYC working as a cop, but the episodes are good on their own, and work well with the overall sotry arc. Check it out before they cancel this thing prematurely. In other words, it needs help, and I need them to wrap up the story BEFORE it gets the axe, please.

Fridays at 10pm - REAL TIME WITH BALL MAHER (HBO) - Okay, so my "socialist, leftist, commie" friends are probably already watching this, and it IS critically acclaimed, but I live in the reddest of "red states," so the locals may not be aware that when they chased Bill Maher off their local ABC affilites, he ran over to HBO and continues to fight the Limbaugh/Hanniity crowd with his own brand of political humor, satire and wit. Plus he gets politicians, activitis, actors, comedians, of all walks of life to appear. It's a damn-funny sohw.

Also Fridays at 10pm (thank you Time Warner DVR) - BATTLESTAR GALACTICA (Sci Fi) - Okay, so honestly, you're kinda screwed if you wanted to jump on this bandwagon, as there are only three episodes left in the four-season series that critics have fallen over themselves heaping praise at. This isn't your weird uncle's "Galactica," either. I've said this ad nauseum to anybody who asks (or gets stuck in a conversation w/me about this show and isn't rude enough to cut me off with disinterest) - go rent the mini-series that launched this show five years ago and I have no DOUBT you'll be going back to rent or buy seasons as they come out. This show is that good. The premise (so hard to pen in a short burst) - humans living in a 12-planet system all under one unifying government find themselves fleeing their planets as their nuclear weapons are turned on themselves - from within. Turns out the robots (Cyclons) they'd chased off 40 years ago in a prolonged war are back - and they have humanoid models. The Cylons were made by man, and used by man, til they becamse smart enough to think for themselves and revolted. That was the first war (which we don't see). Forty years later, they've returned to eradicate the universe of the human race. That's all you get from me...go rent the mini-seies and find out why I'm a homebody on Friday nights (as if that were the ONLY reason, right?).

MUSIC

So yeah, these are songs we're playing on Mix 97.7. Hey, it's what I know. But I'd LOVE to hear more folks requesting these songs. They're STRONG, the performances are LOADED with talent (sorry, Soulja Boy has about as much talent as my cat does when positioning himself to clean his nads, frankly), and these songs need tobe noticed.

"SHOW ME WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR" by Carolina Liar - Unbelievably strong lyrics, vocals, instrumentation. You almost forget that THIS is what hit music is supposed to be about! This has some 'Supertramp' meets 'The Fray' vibes for me.

"1,2,3,4 I LOVE YOU" by the Plain White T's - Ugh, I know, another song without nasty rap - what am I THINKING? I'm thinking people with lyrical and musical talent are getting lost in the shuffle. This song's so nice and catchy it's addictive. Good guys, too...really good guys.

"COME ON, GET HIGHER" by Matt Nathanson - Spotting a them, here? No mentions of sex, ballin' or bragging. Just powerful lyrics, singing about being in love, and a singer who has a remarkable craft.

Don't get me wrong - I DO have guilty pleasures: "Right Round" by Flo Rida, "I Love College" by Asher Roth, "Day 'N Nite" by Kid Cudi come to mind. But as I've said from the beginning, I wanted to spotlight things that I enjoy that I'm not sure many others are checking out. :)

Sleep pattern's alllll messed up

If you're like me, you HATE when your starts with the alarming realization that you've overslept. And being pissed at yourself is no fun, 'cause ya wanna holler at SOMEbody, but hollering atyourself makes people thnk you're N-U-T-S (or confirms it for those that already had a hunch).

So today is odd, in that I got out of bed about 90 minutes early AND I overslept. Confused? Let me explain; for SOME reason I woke up at 6:56am and head Flo Rida's "Right Round" on my alarm clock/radio on the night stand. Nothing unusual there - I leave that radio on like a doting mother leaves a baby monitor on in the nursery - I keep an ear on the radio station so I know she's doing well.

Problem is, once Flo Rida was done...nothing. Total silence...not just for a few seconds, but for whole SWATHS of minutes. So I leapt into action...sent a text message to my buddy Blue, in the building at work, to have him see what was up. He said we were getting no live feed from our friends at Kidd Kraddick. Ugh. So I threw some jeans on, fed the cat 9HAVE to feed the cat if I like my carpet unsoiled..what a brat Bailey can be sometimes) and raced to work to figure out what to do.

That's the "got up 90 minutes early" part. Got to the station, saw that my man Sterling just didn't have our studio configured correctly before he left last night (he never forgets that, usually) so ALLLLL of our 6 a.m. hour was silent, too (awesome...station managers LOVE finding this out first thing in their day....grrrr) so I was a little hot under the collar just getting to work all in a panic only to find that a (sorry Sterling) boneheaded oversight needed a simple fix. I coulda stayed in bed and talked Blue through this...

So I went back home, made a stack of Egg-Os, brought my blood pressure down :) and decided to snag another hour of sleep; only that goal of waking up around 8:30 was more like 11:04 am - only about 35 minutes late for our weekly manager's meeting. Great. I do my diligence and it somehow bites me in the ol' rump roast. Nothing quite like waking up to boss Johnny's voicemail wondering where I am. To his credit, the voicemail was kinda goofy/funny, so I apparently didn't miss much in the meeting.

SONG OF THE DAY: HOW DO YOU SLEEP by Jesse McCartney and Ludacris. (Sense the irony?)

PLANS FOR THE (REMAINDER OF THE) DAY: Live tonight at Senor Frogs (7-9pm) then I reckon I'll see what I missed on 'Idol' (thank you Time Warner Cable DVR). I've started not to take what the judges say all that seriously when it's OBVIOUS they're being coached to be positive about some performers when you just KNOW if (for example) Simon and Kara were allowed to say what they wanted, to each contestant, in a more consistant manner, they'd have no time for Megan, Michael and Scott. All about the ratings, ain't it? 'Cause in their cases, it's not about finding the next "great" recording artist. Scott's a great story, but it's a mean world in the music industry, and he's done little to make me think he's the next big thing in music. Just keepin' it real.

LONG-RANGE PLANS: Forecast hasn't improved any for this weekend. Keep ya posted.

IN REVIEW: Can't believe Bill Buchanan gave his life to save the President and all those hostages last night on '24.' It's like he KNOWS he can't let JACK BAUER ignite that explosion and give HIS life, because he knows Jack's more "bad-ass" than he, and thuse, there's still like 14 "hours" in this season. '24' can't go all '24' hours with only '10' hours of Jack Bauer, right? Still a great show...after all these ... "days."

The economy, my career field, where's this all going, etc.

Chances are, my blog entries won't be about any one idea or topic of discussion. I'm just THAT multi-faceted (read: opinionated) a guy. This being my first entry, I figured I'd go ahead and get that out of the way.

So here's what's rattling around in my head, today.

So it's apparent this economic slow-down's going to be a bit longer than just a few months. Unemployment rates might hit percentages this country hasn't seen since before World War II (Anybody feel like antagonizing the Germans?). What's ironic, to me is that Americans who are working just aren't spending their money - they're (gasp) saving it. God forbid. What always seems to get us into these messes, both personally, and as a nation, is going "credit crazy" to begin with, doesn't it?

I've been "without credit" for the better part of ten years now, myself; the only "credit" I'm even dealing with now is what comes with a truck payment. Other than that, I don't charge clothing, trips, electronics, etc., with the intent on paying a bank for the "priviledge" of borrowing thei rmoney. Instead, if I wanted to buy a big-ticket item, I waited (saved) until I had the money.

The point I'm getting to is this - the supposed "credit freeze" is going to HELP us all, financially, in the long run, I think. Look, I didn't make some "conscious" decision to forgo having credit cards all this time- I found myself between jobs, with lousy tenants in a home I was making payments on from afar, and as luck would have it, I found myself in quite the financial bind. So I surrendered the house, let Countrywide sell it and just decided to lay low, credit-wise. But what came from this experience is a little personal responsibility. I'm currently renting a nice townhouse (fully intent on buying something later this year, all things being equal) with nice furnishings, all the home electronics I coveted, I dine out frequently (I'm single and hate to cook - shocker), and buy clothing I want (even though I'll admit to being a "clearance rack" buyer).

So now I'm re-building credit, but want for nothing. I got my income tax return, and plan to just sit on a good chunk of it; I'll add some spring break/summer personal appearance checks to that and just watch to see where the economy goes in the meanwhile. And while it might not make for good quarterly profit reports from the big-box retailers, the credit agencies (screw 'em, they helped put us where we are now, anyhow) or the "Big 3" automakers (aidos GM) - it means I'm (finally) starting to hink about my long-term financial goals.

I need to; I'm 35, single, with a housecat who won't be around to pay my nursng home bills; right now, I'd have to hope my nephew wins the lottery (age ten, loves scratch offs, already...is that white trash?) and props ol' Uncle Ronnie up in a cush senior living center (that is pet-friendly).

SONG OF THE DAY: "Come On, Get Higher" by Matt Nathanson - dedicated to the freaking stock market.

PLANS FOR THE DAY: '24' at 9pm on FOX. Jack's being held hostatge w/a pistol-whipped lady President. Chris Brown makes for a bitchin' 'bad guy,' eh?

LONG-RANGE: I'm SUPPOSED to go to Georgia this weekend (since I scrapped those plans last weekend - dad and nephew had the flu) but our uhm "outdoor in Atlanta" plans are looking tenuous now with the forecast calling for rain and MAYBE 60 for a high. Are we going to pull this off or no?

IN REVIEW: Enjoyed the weekend; went out w/friends Saturday night, met a pair of brown eyes that made my knees buckled (as did finding out there was a 15-year age difference...wow, that's younger than I thought!!!), took my new bike out for some cardio (do I HAVE to wear this helmet, too, city of Myrtle Beach?), got in an hour of the beach (65 is just too chilly near the water) and had a SMOKIN' dinner at Rioz w/my buddies, Eric and Josh. The beauty about eating at Rioz is (warning this could lead to gross mental images) I don't eat red meat often to begin with, so it doesn't stick to my ribs, so to speak. Doesn't pass go, doesn't collect $200 - goes RIGHT to jail. :) All the flavor, none of the fat. :)

Til tomorrow...