So I already KNEW 'Battlestar Galactica' was only going to run for four seasons (they actually call this 'season 4.5 since they did two "half" seasons with a ridiculous long break between 'em), and that my Friday night staple (lame, eh?) would come to a close this month. What I WASN'T aware of, until last night, was that my Wednesday fix, "LIfe on Mars," was dead on arrival. Next week's the final episode (17 episodes? That's it?) of what has been an awesome series, for me, personally. Hey, at least ABC yanked it with enough time to allow the show's writers to wrap it up and put a bow on it! What was that thing they had on a few years ago with the lizard-aliens falling into the Florida swamp waters and chasing down Eddie Cibrian? I don't remember the name of it, but I ALSO don't remember them even ATTEMPTING to explain what the hell that show was about.
What next? 'King of the Hill?' Huh? This is the last season for that, too? Dammit, Bobby!
Hmmm... so maybe I should start watching all the God-awful shows clogging up the airwaves and use this power I've stumbled onto for GOOD instead of it taking MY favorites down.
Some shows that SHOULD be cancelled, for example....
1. ANYthing with the words "_____ of Love" in it. Dude, these skanks seriously think "vying" for the affections of any washed up (former) music celeb is going to put a positive spin on our perceptions of them? End it. Please. Revolver-to-the-temple style...now.
2. ANY show with abbreviations in its name. My GOD, how many CSINCISSUV's need to be on your DVR, anyhow? Remember the good ol' days, when the only letters on our schedules were "P.I." following "Magnum?" I'm crying "U.N.C.L.E." already...enough!
3. Who....the....HELLLLLL is watching a table of people play "Texas Hold 'Em?" Dude, the ONLY entertaining thing about this televised idiocy is seeing the various hats and sunglasses these former basement-shut ins wear to the games. I swear, I keep thinking, at SOME point, one of these geeks' moms is gonna waltz in with a tray of kool-aid for her baby and their little friends.
4. I get it. You're a "Survivor." Put some clothes on, get a good meal and catch a plane out of that malaria-infested hell-hole, already.
5. If you're going to continue with "WifeSwap"...I insist you spice this thing up a bit and make sure ALL the "wifely" duties are followed through on, to the letter. You think these ladies were mis-matched BEFORE? Let's listen in while prim and proper uber-Republican white-bread neat-freak lady has to have a roll in the hay with pot-smoking, pet-loving, goth-rock worshipping, bathing-optional dad in their "under the freeway" slum home.
I'm out.
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